The Deep End of A Shallow Pool

2008-10-09T16:23:00.000-07:00

Now this, this is how it breaks down
Every little consequence contributes to the meltdown
all the lines keep in mind the time we've fully wasted
let me make this clearer.
try to keep up while this power's pulling nearer.
And this is how the end begins
this is how the loser wins
and this is when you realize
all my scars will cut you all down to size
so this, this is how the time line falls down
this is how your epiphany kills me
how you'll never understand me
because these scars all run too deeply.
So try, try to make me believe
try to make the blind see
I've already set you free
and I hope that one day you'll finally see
It was always you who's always been far far worse than me

Why

2008-09-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

Why.
This solitary word permeates every faction of every thought.
It distorts every essence of every emotion and garbles the existence of my soul.
Why am I so.
Why am I still here.
Why. Why. Why.
I feel so weary. As though so much more life has been laid upon my shoulders than my mere twenty three years should have endowed.
Why am I alone.
Why am I afraid.
Why. Why. Why.
Every thought I've written and penned, every false presumption that has kept hidden my wounded soul, all has consorted and contrived to leave me void and hollow. All have left me, all have forsaken me, and now I feel as though I'm beyond reach.
Why am I such a coward.
Why am I so overwhelmed.
Why. Why. Why.
Even now as I try to place my thoughts in word, I struggle. No longer does my soul overflow with the bounty of art and beauty of prose. I feel empty and void, vacant of the life that used to flow.
God preserves me still, and I know not why.
Why am I His son.
Why am I in His thoughts.
Why. Why. Why.
Picture now this man you know, face down in the sand. Having lain for so long without the strength to rise that the sand has covered all but the last of my hand.
Ever will it reach out for help. Ever will it empty be.
So as the tears I used to cry, mix with dust and slowly die, here will I ever lie, and always will you hear me sigh...
Why. Why. Why.

The Sinners 'Prayer'

2008-07-31T17:44:00.000-07:00

How often do our prayers look like a more subtly worded version of this?

2008-07-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

2008-07-24T19:30:00.000-07:00

2008-07-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

2008-07-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

2008-07-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

2008-06-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

2008-06-27T20:41:00.000-07:00

2008-06-27T20:34:00.000-07:00

2008-06-25T15:04:00.000-07:00

2008-06-25T15:03:00.001-07:00

2008-06-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

2008-06-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

2008-06-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

2008-06-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

2008-06-24T03:41:00.000-07:00

2008-06-23T19:24:00.000-07:00